One Week

It’s been one week since my brothers passing. We are still trying to make sense of all this but yesterday was my mom’s birthday and we took Kylie and Jake to the pumpkin patch. I was reminded that life goes on whether its birthdays or traditions or holidays, especially for the kids. I realize there will be ups and downs and it will be especially hard for all of us as Al’s FAVORITE holidays are upon us like Sand Sport Shows, Thanksgiving in Glamis and The Sema Show as well as all those other silly traditional holidays ;). Our lives will be forever changed by the loss of my brother but whether we realize it or not our lives have already been affected by his living influence which is more powerful than the grief that we have had to succumb to.

Friday’s services were beautiful and our family couldn’t have asked for anything more. Al rolled out in his Chevy red ride draped in gorgeous white flowers and chrome trim. So AL, right? And Jake never left his side, he wanted to stay with daddy as Kylie quietly mirrored her mothers emotions. I can’t remember what I said to fill the silence at the beginning of the services but I did hear what Stacy said and if we can do anything for her and the kids it is to continuously remind them and help them understand how awesome Al was in personality, business and as a father, brother, husband, son and friend. I can’t say we are doing better but our hearts are a little more at peace with each passing day, hug and fond Al memory.

If you were able to comprehend Father Tom’s sermon through your tears, he spoke a lot about the emotions brought on by Al’s passing. I particularly feel angry and I’m sure we will all go through motions but to know that I’m not alone in my sadness, anger and guilt is a step in healing. I hope to heal and learn from my mourning and hug everyone just little tighter from now on.

So, now it’s Monday. I’m back to work and I’m sure it looks like I brushed my hair with a pillow (classic Al quote), but I’m here. Tonight I will go back to school. And this weekend ill work my ass off to catch up and get my head and life back on track best as possible after this major derailment because I know that’s what my brother would want me to do. He would tell me to suck it up and say hey “your legs aren’t broke and while you’re at it will you make me a grilled cheese? And a Dr Pepper with ice….thanks”